“In a shocking move, Thursday, Nederland Town Hall announced plans to incorporate into the City of Boulder.”

So led the front page article of Nederland’s local weekly newspaper, the Mountain-Ear .  Just the thought of such a preposterous idea led me to shudder.  What???

For some local residents who didn’t take care to read the disclaimer at the bottom, this story probably gave them heart failure.  The story went on to say the town will be renamed West Boulder, with quotes from town officials saying how “ecstatic” they were with the decision.

I knew in a moment that the story was pure fiction, as it represented the humor of the Mountain-Ear’s annual April Fool’s Day issue.  Thank God.  In the eight years we’ve made our home in Nederland, one thing has become quite clear — Nederland marches to its own drummer.  And most Nederlanders want nothing to do with nearby Boulder.  In fact, most of us go out of our way to spend as little time in Boulder as possible, making trips for either work or errands.  I’ve been known to even make fun of Boulder’s eco-elitist tendencies, all the while engaging in massive consumption and materialism.

I love that our town is quirky and weird.  I love that while we have a plethora of coffee shops, there is nary a Starbucks in sight.  And that we go to the local Ace hardware to buy our paint, instead of Home Depot.  And that if we want a good burger, we head to the Pioneer Inn instead of McDonalds.  One of the silliest part of this farce was claiming our local B and F Market would be turned into a Whole Foods.  Let the howling begin!

I can’t imagine building condo developments on the hills bordering Barker Reservoir, calling it The Residences of Barker.  I know for a fact, that if even an inkling of something like this was proposed, I would personally picket Town Hall and write an op-ed to both the Mountain-Ear, and the Daily Camera (Boulder’s newspaper), and I’m sure I’d have plenty of company.

People move to Nederland to escape the yuppiness and high prices of Boulder.  We drive dirty, dusty Subarus, chop our wood for our stoves, and walk our dogs unleashed in the middle of a dirt road.  And we like it that way.

If we wanted to live in a condo and take our dogs to a dog park, and we had a million dollars to pay for a modest home, then I guess we would live in Boulder.  I live here to be among my people, the people who value the silence of living among the trees and the mountains, the people who are captivated when they find a moose standing in their driveway in the morning.  I live in Nederland to live among a diverse group of people who yearn for less materialism, and a simpler way of life.  The kind of people who appreciate the serenity of alpenglow turning the Indian Peaks a perfect rosy hue.

And if Nederland ever became an extension of Boulder, that would be the day I’d leave this fair town for somewhere else.